Cap’n stace

So I just got home from work after fighting with all of the scary, nasty creepy crawlies that like to fly and crawl in the hanger doors because of all of the magnificent lights. When I went to the kitchen for my bedtime snack what did I find??? A monsterous spider comin’ at me from behind the fridge. Its black body was the size of a nickel and its legs, well, I almost lept on to the counter. I decided the best thing to do would be to stomp on it quickly before it could escape. When I did about 50 teeny tiny spiders burst out of its writhing body, super scream inside of my head. I squished those buggers too, then smashed with the broom and swept the whole mess into the garage under roommies car! Now I know they’ve followed me upstairs and are going to give me nightmares, why couldn’t Merlin have eaten them before I got home?